Most of us are in jobs where we get feedback from others constantly – on our work, our ways of communicating, and our performance. And sometimes, feedback can be hurtful even if that wasn’t the intention.

Here’s a quick, 5-minute reset you can run through if you find yourself getting upset about feedback.

👋 First off, remove yourself from the situation.

If you find yourself getting very upset or angry about the feedback, the worst thing you can do is lash out. If it’s an in-person interaction, gracefully end the meeting or excuse yourself for a few moments, and then go somewhere that you can be alone.

🧺 Seperate the feedback from the delivery.

Sometimes, the feedback we get from others is valid, but the delivery is so rough that we don’t see it. Try to separate the true feedback or criticism from the relationship or way it was phrased – then you can consider it as though it was delivered well.

⭐️ See if there’s anything you can use.

Once you’ve separated the feedback from the delivery, you can parse it a bit more objectively for value. Is there anything there you’ve heard before? Is there anything you should dig a bit deeper on?

(Remember: not all feedback you get should be implemented, so do make this step deliberate! It’s possible that the feedback you got was junk, but it’s important to be sure that the delivery hasn’t clouded your judgement.)

Bonus if you’re brave!

💖 Give feedback on the feedback.

If you’re comfortable doing so, you can follow up with your coworker and give them feedback on how they gave you feedback. Let them know that you appreciate their thoughts and criticism, but their delivery was upsetting for you – and then explain why.

It can be really tough to be vulnerable, especially when you’re feeling a bit wounded, but it’s an important step for building trust – and ultimately, better relationships. ✨